My husband and I have been married for 25 years. I discovered very soon after getting married that my husband not only has a hearing problem, but that he only hears the last word of everything I say. So if I say; “I saw two rabbits chasing after each other today. I’m sure they were going to have rabbit sex.” Then I get that look shot at me from across the room with my husband saying, “Okay when?”

I know he has a hearing problem; he’s been losing his hearing for many years, but won’t get a hearing aid, because he is a stubborn man.

But I fully know that he only hears the last word of each sentence I say. I know this because last Christmas I said, “Please do not get me any more bracelets for Christmas, because our daughter has already made me about ten for Mother’s Days.” I ended it with—“No more bracelets.”

What did he get me for Christmas—a really pretty, non returnable bracelet. I can’t take it back to the store because he ordered it online.Which I told him not to order anything online for Christmas, because then we have to pay for shipping to send it back. You see, he thinks he is getting a great deal, and is being a smart-old sage, by ordering things online, but next year I’m going to have to hide his computer.

For my birthday this year he did it again! He bought a bracelet from a co-worker because she was selling them. I am seriously thinking of  selling all of my bracelets online and using the money towards either paying bills, or buying something I really want!

In a move I thought was pretty dang smart, I started making statements to my husband about what I really want. But you see the twist is, I end the sentence with that really want word as the last word such as; “For Mother’s Day this year I really want  a new bike.”

Okay, he heard that one, and took me to a store to buy one, but when I saw those cute sandals and all of those roses, I changed my mind, thinking of a way to say it without hurting his feelings,and to have the last word as the word my husband will hear. So I figured it out, “Dear, for Mother’s Day, could you not get me a bike, but those sandals,and those pretty roses.

 

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